Abstract: The relationship between family and state is an important local perspective to understand the changes of social governance in the 20th century. In traditional society, since the unity of the family and the state, maintaining the ethics and structure of the family is to maintain the legitimacy and social order of state. However, in the face of a huge national crisis in modern times, the state must cultivate the national consciousness of social members instead of the family consciousness in order to draw more social resources and carry out effective social mobilization. With the change of relationship between family and state, although the national capacity has increased, the grass-roots governance model with the content of autonomy and moral governance has been completely changed. On the basis, the realization of good social governance with the combination of autonomy, rule of virtue and rule of law must be based on the balance between national capacity and grassroots governance capacity.